Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
