apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
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Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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