whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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