Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Randomize
