so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize