At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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