Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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