Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
