Just cropdusted the office
fuck your aforementioned shoe
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
