Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
