Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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