Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
