as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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