I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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