god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
