ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
