i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
