And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
