Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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