A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
