i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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