It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
