I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
