this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
