Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
