I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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