that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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