My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I intend to get homeless drunk
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize