just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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