Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
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My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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