My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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