Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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