Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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