Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
