3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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