We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
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My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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