Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
