Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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