And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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