She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
