I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
