Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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