cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My bed smells like the plague
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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