shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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