JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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