that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
