Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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