he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
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Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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