Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
