She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
