I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
