Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
