Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
