well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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