So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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