my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
