I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
