If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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