Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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